The Curse of the Vertically Challenged Gig-Goer

We’ve all been there, whether you are said pint-sizer or have been to a gig with one. It seems to come up at every gig “Can you see anything?”....“Erm, No.”. A kindly concerned, or very annoyed colleague, I can’t quite decide which, (Thanks, Andy!) announced over a Friday post-work pint “Why do short people even bother going to gigs?”. And, even though I stand at a less than statuesque 5’3”, I can kind of see his point. I love going to gigs, but it’s a rare occasion that i can ever see the act I’ve just paid good money to see. You wouldn’t go to the cinema if the only seats available were behind a huge pillar would you? That said, it seems to bother those that go to gigs with the height impaired, than us little’uns ourselves, am I right? Obviously, I’m not referring to those big venues where you get a seat (ooh luxurious), I’m talking about the little ones where you’re going to see the next big thing in a little cramped hall or pub. The price we have to pay to stay ahead of the pack. The reason we all go of course is you can’t beat that feeling of being there, hearing the music good and loud and the energy of the crowd you’re with. No arguing with that and I’m certainly not going to stop going any time soon. But is there anything that can be done? Venues could provide all us shorties with some sort of box to stand on, which I could well go for, but if you’re a fella with the same predicament, I’m sure your ever-so-supportive mates wouldn’t miss a beat in ripping it out of you. Not to mention some of the ‘angry short man’ variety would harp on about discrimination and that. Look, you’re short, you know it, we know it, calm yourselves. I accept my lot in the height stakes, it’s not anyone else’s fault, but how about a little etiquette? If you’re 6ft tall, and see anyone of our ilk behind you, how about we get to stand in front? As much as I enjoy staring at your back, you might not even see some of us. Look down? A bit more? Therrrre you go. Like tube etiquette, let someone less able to stand sit down, let someone less able to see the sweaty men (or women) on stage stand in front! Either that or I’d better start getting a bit more nimble at shimmying up poles or standing on tables, Health and Safety? Health. And. Schmafety. Image by Anna Wadham